Wednesday, 4 September 2013

"Don't Look at What You Can't Have"

Quick Test:

What's the first thought that springs to mind when you read the following words: "Don't Look at What You Can't Have"?

These where the words I read on the back of a taxi in front of me this chilly spring morning, while stopping my scooter at a traffic light. I was leaving Claremont to go teach some yoga to a private client.

This is what a S.A. taxi typically looks like... perfect example of the  sticker I saw this am, except the words  were; "Don't Look at What You Can't Have."

My first thought was, "Right... look at what you do have, just the reminder I needed this am." I stared at for a while longer and then it occurred to me that it was actually meant to be a cheeky "diss" (a way of telling one off), as we would say here in South Africa. Made me laugh when I realised that.

My next thought was, how grateful I was to see the good and derive an empowering meaning from it rather than automatically seeing the defensive and antagonistic "diss". How easy it is to feel trapped in a frame of mind that only sees the challenge and negativity in every situation?

My thoughts then started exploring the idea of how easy it is to be self absorbed in ones own "suffering" and self-perpetuated anxieties... To run on an annoying abundance of LACK.
This state makes us impatient, defensive, self-absorbed, aggressive, compulsive, impulsive... because it is the state of survival. In this state, we disconnect, not only with ourselves, but with those who are closest to us. In this state we become mean and incapable of "hearing" or empathising with anyone else. Sometimes this state can be turned into closed-minded absolution. Even persona's of self righteousness, prejudice, pride and fear... these are unbalanced and stressful states to be living in constantly. It doesn't do much for your emotional intelligent quotient, mental state and even drives a deteriorating physiological state.
Been there... Sooo over it, 'cause that ain't living.
I've been in this "mad" state, it's inevitable when driven on autopilot without awareness or intention... and I don't like it so much; it's incongruent with the person I would love to be and that creates a huge stress in of itself.

Shift Perspective:

There are numerous models of consciousness in philosophy, psychology, etc. that speak of the levels of evolution in perception or the state of "being". In Yoga the very base of the primitive conscious level is called the Root chakra.
Maslow's hierarchy of needs, describes the theory of the different stages of human behaviour motivators.

The one I like the best is that of Dr. Demartini: (Human Behavioural Specialist etc.)

Seven Levels of Consciousness ~ Book: "The Breakthrough Experience" Dr Jon F. Demartini, pg. 142

I recommend this book and even better, attend the live Break Through Experience seminar that Dr. John Demartini gives. Check out the table above, assess for yourself where you feel you're functioning from mainly. For the majority of us, we live anywhere between the last three or four on the list.

In his book, Dr. Demartini relates on balanced perceptions, and the more lop-sided (unbalanced) they are, the more we de-evolve into the lower states of being. The more we choose to balance out our perceptions, the more we evolve into using our "genius" and are naturally driven to actualise our our full potential.

"Until you get past the want-to level, there is little free will or choice. But with each successive level, there is and increase of inner self-motivation and a decrease in outer compulsion. At the desire-to level, you start acknowledging a dream; and at the choose-to level, you begin realising that you can make it happen. At the Love-to level, you know it's your destiny  and nothing will stop you. Here, you break through to a new and more inspired level of being...Great geniuses are willing to pay the price..." ~ The Break Through Experience ~ Dr J. Demartini

In my words; gratitude starts with attitude. I say gratitude because it is the best emotional state where everything in ones life is seen with purpose, the good and the bad, equally. When you see the balance, there is only gratitude (love).

Funny thing is it's hard to feel grateful for your life, or to feel motivated to make the changes we want from that place of lack, and what we end up doing is chasing happiness. From this state, happiness is always going to be just out of reach. 
Its natural to go through the lows of life, yet even in the low moments, one can ask a series of powerful questions to shift perspective and rebalance the mind and heart.

I pulled away from the traffic light, I made a conscious effort to acknowledge the things I felt so grateful for. As some of these thoughts spun in my head and the feeling of gratitude filled my chest, I realised that my inspired-tear-filled eyes had misted up the visor of my helmet. Right then, in that present moment, I was grateful for the refreshing morning air; I welcomed it. I was grateful for my scooter, on which I felt free; fearlessly vulnerable to the fragility of life. I felt deep appreciation for the gift of choice. That is just another reminder that creating the life I love happens today... Not when I have X,Y and Z.

What helps you to foster the feeling of gratitude?
How can you love the place you are in right now?

How can you see your challenges in an empowering way?
What are the benefits of your challenges?
Where are they "calling" you to look and expand growth-wise in your life?
What's it going to take to realise that this is your only chance to actualise your life and dreams?
What is possible for your life?


The really cool thing about life, is that no matter where we've been, how young, how old we are, every new moment forward is another chance to start. There is no such thing as running out of chances, no failures, just feedback.
"From now on, I apply an empowering meaning to my life!" ~ Mastin Kipp
Here's to creating the life we're Mad-Crazy-In-Love with.

Madelain X

P.S. Want to start feeling Mad About Your life? Consider becoming a Beta Coaching Client! Prices aren't always going to be so generous as they are right now. Check out the About Coaching page and send me an e-mail: madlifecoach@gmail.com.

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